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goliath18

I'm a writer
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I'm looking for help with my story.

Let me give you the details. A few years back I started to write a story which can be found here: Gallery   (read the descriptions, please.)
As you can see I've gotten better with my writing but, I'm still learning and I've decided to stop at the last part, because nearly a year ago I found out that it needed a proper beginning.
So, I've decided that the gallery link above is sort of like a beta version of my story. So, basically, I need help. Like critique, grammar or spelling check would help me further my writing allot. Please, help if you can. =)
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BOOM!!! BABY! by goliath18, journal

Looking for help with my story. by goliath18, journal